Necessary Roughness

This section deepens Chan’s relationships with his new friend Mikko and his new sport, both of which are extremely American—necessarily creating more distance between Chan and his father. The two get into a silent standoff about the topic, and Chan, finding that he loves the feeling of playing a sport again, refuses to give in. Abogee does not vocalize his displeasure, which Chan believes is because “he was afraid I would say no, out loud” (76). This incident represents a crucial milestone in Chan’s struggle with The Difficulties of Coming of Age. Up to this point, Abogee’s silent disapproval has often been enough to pressure Chan into obedience, even if it means abandoning his dreams. Now, however, Chan stands up to his father, proving that he can be just as stubbornly determined when he knows what he wants.

As his wife and children embrace American culture in their own ways, Abogee feels increasingly fearful of having his authority questioned by any of his family members. He wants to be the strong patriarch of his family, and his silent resentment of their American pursuits suggests that he fears that the family will lose touch with their Korean roots. Chan remembers a time when he used to wait for his father to get home and they would eat ramen together, a cherished memory with a distinctly Korean dish at the center. Once again, food acts as a symbol for the wider culture. Chan feels frustrated at their continuing tension: “[E]xactly when did Abogee turn so negative on me? When did this ‘Number one son’ thing start to mean I couldn’t do anything right?” (66). For Chan, the challenges of Navigating Cultural Difference exacerbate the natural tension between a teenager and their parents. Like any parent, Abogee fears the day when he will have to relinquish his parental authority, but he also fears that Chan will lose touch with his Korean identity. Meanwhile, Chan—like his sister Young—feels that his father cannot understand him and does not allow him to be the American teenager he is. Chan and Abogee’s shared stubbornness only makes matters worse. He feels upset that his father does not value anything he is good at, but to build his confidence, Chan must value his own positive traits—he is hard-working, athletic, and kind, and he sees the value in those traits even if his father seems not to.

While Chan enjoys football, he also faces discrimination on and off the field. His teammates and assistant coach’s cultural ignorance and racism make for a regular stream of insults. Many people in this predominantly white community apply anti-Chinese stereotypes to the Kims even though the Kims are not Chinese but Korean. After Chan drops a ball, Assistant Coach Kearny asks, “Whatsdamatter, your fingers all greasy from that Chinese food?” (77). Chan is able to brush these comments off, but even his teammates target him. Rom uses two racist slurs to ask Chan whether he is Chinese or Japanese, then says proudly that he himself is “one hundred percent American” (81). The implication is that a person of Asian descent cannot be fully American—a deeply racist belief shared by nearly all the white people in Iron River, even though many of them are only a couple of generations removed from their Swedish immigrant ancestors and continue proudly adhering to Swedish traditions. Rom’s friend Jimmi, who is Indigenous himself, also throws a slur at Chan during practice, again demonstrating that racism often pits people of color against each other. Instead of connecting over the fact that they are the only kids of color on the team, the two are divided because Jimmi wants to maintain his allegiance to his racist friend.

Chan’s more positive American coming-of-age experiences—his first loss on the football team, his embarrassment and excitement with his crush on Rainey, and his deepening friendship with Mikko—are interrupted when Chan is violently attacked in the locker room. Since his attackers are anonymous, the motivations behind the incident are unclear. Chan is certain it was motivated by racism—after all, similar hazing techniques don’t seem to be used on the other players, and his race is the most obvious characteristic that sets Chan apart—but he has no way to prove his suspicions. Chan is particularly upset that his attackers tied him up, remarking, “[I]t makes me sick. Everything in my insides jumped and skittered like tiny fish” (94). This reaction symbolizes his feelings about Navigating Cultural Difference—he resents being restricted, not able to freely explore who he is and could be, bound by expectations, family history, and a lack of acceptance on all sides. This locker room incident provides a closer look at Chan’s character—he initially feels terrible, but comes away from it determined and defiant, drawing on his past life in LA as a source of identity and pride: “If they wanted me to give up and die, that was going to be the very reason for me to keep on going. I was one tough LA mo-fo” (100). Chan takes pride in his LA roots and who they have helped him become. He acknowledges that his time in LA better equips him to handle what happens in Minnesota—it’s an irrevocable part of him that did not disappear when the Kims packed up the car and drove east. Chan also reconciles both of his hometowns in a more positive scenario when the football team attends a party after a win. The boys sit in the bed of Rom’s pickup truck, which reminds Chan of the exploitative system in LA where migrant workers would stand in parking lots for the chance to be picked up by a wealthier person who needed landscaping or manual labor from them. His friend Manuel even participated in it a few times. Chan, prompted to hop in the truck, realizes the next moment that he “was picking up some weird Swedish accent from these guys” (104). This scene demonstrates a sharp contrast between Chan’s experiences in the more diverse environment, both racially and socioeconomically, where he was raised, and the mostly white and wealthy town where he now lives. Chan acknowledges these differences without resentment or upset, demonstrating a sharp turn from his initially disdainful attitude toward Minnesota.

This section expands on the theme of sexism in American culture through football, school, and social dynamics. After the football team loses a game, Kearny is furious. He’s especially disappointed in the team’s defense, and he uses the most degrading comparison he can come up with: “You aren’t men, just a bunch of pussy-boys” (92). In a sport that, to Kearny, is all about brute force, there is no room for anything beyond the American ideal of masculinity. To be compared to female anatomy is the ultimate insult—it means they’re soft and weak. In the classroom, Chan enjoys the lax nature of Iron River High School, but Young chafes under the home economics requirement that applies only to girls. When the principal tells her that she must remain in home ec rather than switch to calculus, she explains to Chan, “He had the nerve to say I’d probably appreciate the home ec classes after I was married. And he called me young lady” (101). Instead of cultivating Young’s talent for math, Mr. Ripanen’s preconceived notions about womanhood cause him to force Young to learn a subject she’s not interested in. He cannot take Young’s future in math seriously, but he can easily imagine her as a wife, putting her cooking skills to good use. The insult is topped with a condescending title. A lady, as the term is traditionally defined, has little worth outside of her looks and her ability to mother children. Another instance of sexism occurs when Mikko tells Chan about Rainey’s experience with bullying. Rom led an effort to call Rainey the sausage queen on account of her father’s meat business, a low-effort sexual innuendo that tormented her throughout the year and culminated in a humiliating poster at homecoming, for which they faced no consequences. Rom was even protected on account of his athletic ability—according to Mikko, “We probably should’ve done something about it. But do you know anyone who can hold a line better than Rom?” (107). Rom is spared from consequences in part because he exemplifies useful masculine traits.